What I Wish

I wish that just for one day, I didn't have to deal with being an emotional person. I'd like to trade lives with someone that deals with their life solely on a logical level. I hate having to try to understand myself sometimes. When I'm angry or frustrated or mad or sad or whatever, I can't fucking let it go until I figure out what's making me feel the way I do, and GOD DAMN if that isn't some tiring shit. Right now is a great example. I'm sitting here staring at my computer and I can feel all this pent up bullshit stirring inside me. My throat is dry, my brow is knit together in perma-frown mode, and I know that if given the correct stimulus (or possibly none at all) I could start crying. I don't want to think about it anymore, but I feel like I can't stop myself, either. Jesus. And you know what's even more frustrating than that? I HATE THAT I'M SITTING HERE WHINING TO THE BLOGOSPHERE ABOUT IT. I hate being a person that bitches about shit. I hate that I don't have all the answers. Why can't I just be one of those pleasant people that never seems to let anything bother them? Aw fuckit...they probably don't have shit any more figured out than I do, they just hide it better I guess. Maybe that's what I wish. Not to be a non-emotional person, but instead just figure out how to be in complete control of my emotions every minute of every day, rather than have it the other way around.