need your advice

oh, first off, pardon the fact that i can't seem to take 5 seconds to use capitals lately. i'll be back on track soon, i promise. now then.

anyone have any advice on the following??:
- how to stop crying
- how to stop feeling completely worthless
- how to convince myself that i'm not fat and ugly
- how to maybe start believing in myself
- how to stop being in love, and just shut my feelings off like a light-switch?
- how to avoid total depression
- how to trust anyone ever again
- how to stop feeling hurt that he probably isn't sad or hurt about any of this, and definitely hasn't been crying his eyes out or losing sleep over this?
- again, how to stop crying?????

seriously i'm losing my fucking mind here. this is the worst pain i've felt since i placed my son for adoption. only thing that made that tolerable is i was prepared for it, somewhat. this caught me totally off guard...like getting hit by a mack truck while watching tv in the nude in bed late at night...in your second floor apartment.