What did I do to deserve this?

Why? Why would he do this to me? Why lie?

The really fucked up thing is that if he had just told me the truth from the beginning, I probably would have been okay with it. I know that might sound fucked up, but it's true.

I just don't get it. Why would he go to the lengths he's gone to? Why would he make me believe he was in love with me? Why?

Am I such trash that he took one look at me and decided that I wasn't worth two shits and it would be a great opportunity for him to just do and say whatever he wanted and not even care? Am I that ugly or fat or stupid or annoying or ?? What is it that made him feel okay about doing this to me?

Why? And why won't he just give me 5 minutes of his time to just tell me why he would do this? Am I so worthless that he can't even do that? I'm not worth an explanation of any kind?

I should have known better. I should have seen it from the beginning. No one could possibly think I'm beautiful or worthy of the kind of "love" he claimed to have for me, and I know it.

I just wanted so badly to believe it was possible that I wasn't going to be alone forever. That I was worth something. That me being fat and unattractive didn't matter, because someone would see through that.

What a fucken fool I am.