what really sucks about all this...

What, you ask? I'll tell you.

I'm single again. That's the part that sucks the most. I was single for about 3 years before Vin, and now I'm single again.

Oh wait, I just decided on something that sucks even more than that. He made me believe that I was worthy of that kind of love. He made me believe I was beautiful and funny and have a good body and a great personality. He made me believe that I am someone that men WANT. He gave me hope that I wouldn't be alone for the rest of my life. He made me believe that someday I could have a lasting relationship and be married and maybe even have something resembling a family. That's what sucks the most...because before him I KNEW BETTER.

I'm in exactly the same place I was 8 months ago, only worse for the wear. I wish he hadn't pretended all those things and made me believe them.

Damn I'm slow. Like driving the short-bus all by myself slow.