Maybe it's the weather

What a sucky time of year for Minnesota weather. It's 60 degrees one day, 40 the next, 55 the next, rain and snow and a high of 35 predicted for the next. WTF? It's crap, total crap I say. Just when you're getting all excited that spring is coming and you're doing a little jig in your head, you get pounced on by windy cold. Fucken weather.

So I've decided that maybe it's the weather that's causing my recent doldrums. Causing? Hm. That seems inaccurate. Whatever - it's not helping, anyway. Plus, the advent of Spring is always a bit of a pain in the ass for people like me. I believe the clinical term is "Anal Retentive", but I just like to think of myself as a "Dirty Mess Challenged"...which means I can't stand to live in a disorganized, cluttered, dirty, messy space. No matter how clean and organized my living space is, when Spring starts coming, I automatically think EVERYTHING is wrong with the apartment and feel absolutely COMPELLED to clean and organize it RIGHT THIS MINUTE. And it doesn't just apply to my living space. Unfortunately, it applies to my entire life. Some people have New Year's Resolutions - I have Spring Cleaning-itis. I attempt (note the use of the word "attempt") to take stock of my entire life and break it down into categories of Shit I Need To Fix. Initially, this goes well...but inevitably, it winds up being a festival of tears for me because I am putting everything that's wrong with me under my mind's microscope. Not a good idea for someone with a very low self-esteem to begin with. Suffice it to say, I usually wind up feeling defeated because it's too much to fix today, this month, this quarter, or even this year. Mind you, I still feel like I need to DO something. It's like sitting at a stop light and revving your engine - or better yet, doing a brake stance...only the light never changes to green. Annoying, to say the least.