Sometimes...

...there's just nothing to say.

Do you ever feel like all the words have been used up? Like you've said everything there is to say? Ever feel like there aren't any original ideas left? Like everything's been said and done?

Feeling very BLAH today.

Vin's in town with his family, on vacation. I thought it would be a nice feeling to have him in the same state. It's not. It's worse than ever, because knowing he's this close and I can't see him is like putting someone in a round room and telling them to go sit in the corner.

I feel a little sick.

The last few weeks I've been feeling like we're worlds apart instead of just miles. There's been barely any email exchanged between us, and the phone calls are short, rushed, and full of smalltalk. Not that I don't appreciate every minute of his time - I do. I really do. I just wish that those stolen moments that we share were more full of "real" than "so, what are you up to?" type bullshit.

Just once, I'd like to hear him say "Hey, I'm coming into town but we're staying w/the inlaws and I won't be able to get away to see you. I probably won't be able to call or email much either, but I'll try to steal a few minutes here and there as best I can." But I don't hear that. What he says is "I'm coming into town next week. Can you take a day off work to spend with me?" As nice a sentiment as that is, we both know it's not going to happen.

I'll take the harsh, cold truth over happy wishful thinking any day of the week.

I know people communicate differently and I know he doesn't do and say shit like that on purpose.

Too bad that doesn't make it suck any less.