Stuff
The other day, I posted about being confused. Jen, Maeve, and Ordinary Joe made some good points in my comments regarding that post. Comments that kept me thinking about things all the way through the weekend.
I spent a lot of time taking their suggestions. I was truthful with myself. I put the shoe on the other foot and thought about what advice I would give to me if I were a friend of mine, and I'll tell ya, that one kept me thinking longer than I expected it would. I realized that my advice to my 'friend' would directly depend on how well I knew this person, and how much I knew about their situation.
I realized that if I had a friend in my situation, and I knew her as well as several of my friends know me and know my situation inside and out, I'd be telling her exactly what they've been telling me. Which is to be careful, pay attention, don't turn a blind eye, give him the benefit of the doubt when I feel he deserves it, and give him a figurative smack upside the head when I feel he deserves that. They have been listening to the story, detail for detail, from the very beginning and know just how strongly I feel about him. They know how I am and how I love, and know that this is the first time I've truly been in love since Timmy. They have given me the advice of taking a 'wait and see' approach - to not give up unless I should (and they've assured me that if they think that time has come, they'll be the first to let me know) and have hope and faith - just not so much that it blinds me.
I also realized after doing all this thinking last weekend, that although it's not perfect and we have a lot of obstacles, Vin makes me a lot happier than unhappy. We have struggles that are abnormal to many relationships, and at times we allow them to get in our way more than we ought to, which makes both of us unhappy. But we spend a LOT more time laughing and having good times and good conversations than bad. The reasons I want to stay with him and make it work far outweigh and outnumber any of the reasons for either of us to leave.
The biggest reason being Love. With all it's imperfections and flaws. Just like us.
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I spent a lot of time taking their suggestions. I was truthful with myself. I put the shoe on the other foot and thought about what advice I would give to me if I were a friend of mine, and I'll tell ya, that one kept me thinking longer than I expected it would. I realized that my advice to my 'friend' would directly depend on how well I knew this person, and how much I knew about their situation.
I realized that if I had a friend in my situation, and I knew her as well as several of my friends know me and know my situation inside and out, I'd be telling her exactly what they've been telling me. Which is to be careful, pay attention, don't turn a blind eye, give him the benefit of the doubt when I feel he deserves it, and give him a figurative smack upside the head when I feel he deserves that. They have been listening to the story, detail for detail, from the very beginning and know just how strongly I feel about him. They know how I am and how I love, and know that this is the first time I've truly been in love since Timmy. They have given me the advice of taking a 'wait and see' approach - to not give up unless I should (and they've assured me that if they think that time has come, they'll be the first to let me know) and have hope and faith - just not so much that it blinds me.
I also realized after doing all this thinking last weekend, that although it's not perfect and we have a lot of obstacles, Vin makes me a lot happier than unhappy. We have struggles that are abnormal to many relationships, and at times we allow them to get in our way more than we ought to, which makes both of us unhappy. But we spend a LOT more time laughing and having good times and good conversations than bad. The reasons I want to stay with him and make it work far outweigh and outnumber any of the reasons for either of us to leave.
The biggest reason being Love. With all it's imperfections and flaws. Just like us.
posted by AmyVegas at
6/11/2004 10:12:00 AM
