Jodie is such a baby!!!!
Oh. My. God.
Frequently, I wonder how the fuck she makes it through the day without me there to coach her every move.
Jodie and I used to work together. We have a mutual acquaintance at work (Ed) that has been trying to hook Jodie up with his brother (Ted) for like, a year now. Ed *finally* got around to giving Ted her number this week, and Ted finally called and set a date for tonight.
Now, something to keep in mind is that Ed has gone on at some length about how "wild" Ted is. How Ted "shaves his head" and "has a tattoo" and "likes to party", so Jodie should be careful because Ted is kind of a player and whatnot. Which Jodie and I laughed about because we both know how much Ed likes to exaggerate at times. ANYWAY. The gist of it is, Ed is basically trying to give Jodie the impression that Ted is probably going to freak her out a bit and in all reality, is probably not good enough for her anyway. So why set them up? Who knows. Something else to keep in mind is that Ed sees Jodie as some sort of pristine, never-does-anything-wrong type of goody-goody who should probably be nominated for Sainthood or something. *rolling eyes*
So just now, Jodie sends me this email - (Subject line reads "Ugh") "So, I'm nervous. Help. Please."
I can't even begin to describe all the things that went through my head when I read that, but among them were "Pffftttt! What are you, like 16 or something?" and "Screw you, bitch! After how shitty you've been to me about Vin, even from the very beginning, why the FUCK should I be nice to you and help you not be nervous??"
Here's what I wrote back:
"Nervous? Why would you be nervous? It's Ed's brother, for the love of god. If he's said it once, he's implied it a billion times - dude's not good enough for you anyway! LOL. So nothing to be nervous about, really. Cuz really, when you think about it, you don't care one way or the other if he likes you or not, which gives you total license to be yourself. Nothing nerve-wracking about that, really - it's easy to be yourself. Much harderto try to be someone you're not - now THAT would be nerve-wracking. Hey, is nerve-wracking supposed to be hyphenated or not? Ah who cares. Certainly not me. Either way, I think you are getting worked up over nothing. Think of it as going out with your brother or something. No seriously. Think of it as going out w/someone you've known forever, and act accordingly. That's what I do when I talk to someone for the first time - I act like they already know and like me, that way, I don't worry about what they think or whatever. I just be me and screw 'em if they don't like it. Makes things MUCH easier, on both of us. The more comfortable you are, the more he will see you are not nervous, which means that he won't be nervous either, which means that the whole thing will go much smoother for both of you."
Harsh? Probably. Do I care? Fuck no!
And that thing I said about "...you don't care one way or the other if he likes you or not..." I wasn't just being an asshole. That is what I perceive to be the truth. Jodie has said a million times that she isn't interested in having a boyfriend. That she could care less about the whole dating scene, and that having a boyfriend would only disrupt her life. She frequently cites her opinion of what liars and generally crappy people she thinks all men are.
Maybe I'm an evil asshole where this is concerned. I don't really give a flying fuck. Jodie has been nothing but a selfish ass about Vin - even before she had reason to. So I see no reason why I should just "overlook" that fact and pretend I care one way or the other whether or not she's "nervous" about a date with a guy that she more likely than not ISN'T EVEN GOING TO LIKE.
Incidentally, this is probably the 4th or 5th date she's had since she's lived with me, and she's acted like this every single time, even though EVERY SINGLE TIME she could have cared less about the dude.
Whatever. What a baby.
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Frequently, I wonder how the fuck she makes it through the day without me there to coach her every move.
Jodie and I used to work together. We have a mutual acquaintance at work (Ed) that has been trying to hook Jodie up with his brother (Ted) for like, a year now. Ed *finally* got around to giving Ted her number this week, and Ted finally called and set a date for tonight.
Now, something to keep in mind is that Ed has gone on at some length about how "wild" Ted is. How Ted "shaves his head" and "has a tattoo" and "likes to party", so Jodie should be careful because Ted is kind of a player and whatnot. Which Jodie and I laughed about because we both know how much Ed likes to exaggerate at times. ANYWAY. The gist of it is, Ed is basically trying to give Jodie the impression that Ted is probably going to freak her out a bit and in all reality, is probably not good enough for her anyway. So why set them up? Who knows. Something else to keep in mind is that Ed sees Jodie as some sort of pristine, never-does-anything-wrong type of goody-goody who should probably be nominated for Sainthood or something. *rolling eyes*
So just now, Jodie sends me this email - (Subject line reads "Ugh") "So, I'm nervous. Help. Please."
I can't even begin to describe all the things that went through my head when I read that, but among them were "Pffftttt! What are you, like 16 or something?" and "Screw you, bitch! After how shitty you've been to me about Vin, even from the very beginning, why the FUCK should I be nice to you and help you not be nervous??"
Here's what I wrote back:
"Nervous? Why would you be nervous? It's Ed's brother, for the love of god. If he's said it once, he's implied it a billion times - dude's not good enough for you anyway! LOL. So nothing to be nervous about, really. Cuz really, when you think about it, you don't care one way or the other if he likes you or not, which gives you total license to be yourself. Nothing nerve-wracking about that, really - it's easy to be yourself. Much harderto try to be someone you're not - now THAT would be nerve-wracking. Hey, is nerve-wracking supposed to be hyphenated or not? Ah who cares. Certainly not me. Either way, I think you are getting worked up over nothing. Think of it as going out with your brother or something. No seriously. Think of it as going out w/someone you've known forever, and act accordingly. That's what I do when I talk to someone for the first time - I act like they already know and like me, that way, I don't worry about what they think or whatever. I just be me and screw 'em if they don't like it. Makes things MUCH easier, on both of us. The more comfortable you are, the more he will see you are not nervous, which means that he won't be nervous either, which means that the whole thing will go much smoother for both of you."
Harsh? Probably. Do I care? Fuck no!
And that thing I said about "...you don't care one way or the other if he likes you or not..." I wasn't just being an asshole. That is what I perceive to be the truth. Jodie has said a million times that she isn't interested in having a boyfriend. That she could care less about the whole dating scene, and that having a boyfriend would only disrupt her life. She frequently cites her opinion of what liars and generally crappy people she thinks all men are.
Maybe I'm an evil asshole where this is concerned. I don't really give a flying fuck. Jodie has been nothing but a selfish ass about Vin - even before she had reason to. So I see no reason why I should just "overlook" that fact and pretend I care one way or the other whether or not she's "nervous" about a date with a guy that she more likely than not ISN'T EVEN GOING TO LIKE.
Incidentally, this is probably the 4th or 5th date she's had since she's lived with me, and she's acted like this every single time, even though EVERY SINGLE TIME she could have cared less about the dude.
Whatever. What a baby.
posted by AmyVegas at
7/23/2004 08:50:00 AM
