Thinking
I was thinking earlier about what a bitch I am for having such an "I told you so" attitude about the whole Jodie/Ted breakup. I began to wonder if I was jealous of the fact that she could have such an easy, normal breakup with a guy and not become completely wrecked over it.
Then I took into account the fact that she's kidding herself about most of it, and that made me feel better. See, I spoke to Ted's brother Ed today. (Ed works with me.) Ed starts to go on and on about how he could see how frustrated Ted had been getting over the fact that Jodie never wanted to go anywhere or do anything other than go to the bar, and how frustrating it was that she never wanted to leave the 10 mile radius surrounding her apartment. He also said that Ted was fairly offended that she never, in the three months they were dating, EVER offered to pay for anything. Ever. Not once. Now, considering she made more money than him and he knew it (I'm not sure Jodie was aware of this until near the end) it really bothered him - especially when it came to shit like her running out of cigarettes at the bar and making him pay for them. Ed said Ted had even mentioned this to their mother, which I took to mean it was something he was fairly offended by. Ed went on about several other things that Ted had mentioned that really bothered him about Jodie, but you get the idea.
The point is - if she knew the truth, it wouldn't be as "easy" a breakup as she's making it out to be.
The other point is this - I began to wonder if I was jealous of the ease with which she could just take or leave the situation; jealous of how uncomplicated her life must be in that regard. Until I realized that she will probably not ever know true love. (She boils ALL of her past relationships down to some character flaw/problem/or something he fucked up on the part of the male.) And it made me glad that for as difficult as it is for my mind and heart some days, I'll gladly take this feeling over the emptiness of never knowing what it means to be completely immersed in another human being. It's worth the trouble. The pain. The heartache.
And hopefully, one day, it will mean more positives than negatives. For me, anyway.
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Then I took into account the fact that she's kidding herself about most of it, and that made me feel better. See, I spoke to Ted's brother Ed today. (Ed works with me.) Ed starts to go on and on about how he could see how frustrated Ted had been getting over the fact that Jodie never wanted to go anywhere or do anything other than go to the bar, and how frustrating it was that she never wanted to leave the 10 mile radius surrounding her apartment. He also said that Ted was fairly offended that she never, in the three months they were dating, EVER offered to pay for anything. Ever. Not once. Now, considering she made more money than him and he knew it (I'm not sure Jodie was aware of this until near the end) it really bothered him - especially when it came to shit like her running out of cigarettes at the bar and making him pay for them. Ed said Ted had even mentioned this to their mother, which I took to mean it was something he was fairly offended by. Ed went on about several other things that Ted had mentioned that really bothered him about Jodie, but you get the idea.
The point is - if she knew the truth, it wouldn't be as "easy" a breakup as she's making it out to be.
The other point is this - I began to wonder if I was jealous of the ease with which she could just take or leave the situation; jealous of how uncomplicated her life must be in that regard. Until I realized that she will probably not ever know true love. (She boils ALL of her past relationships down to some character flaw/problem/or something he fucked up on the part of the male.) And it made me glad that for as difficult as it is for my mind and heart some days, I'll gladly take this feeling over the emptiness of never knowing what it means to be completely immersed in another human being. It's worth the trouble. The pain. The heartache.
And hopefully, one day, it will mean more positives than negatives. For me, anyway.
posted by AmyVegas at
11/08/2004 02:19:00 PM
