Uh, what?

I don't feel like blogging about it yet. I'm still a little numb and caught between knowing I'm right and hating my life without him. It is SO OVER. Not like any other time - I crossed a line that can't be uncrossed. There will never be any contact between us again. Good thing? Some would say yes, and deep down I know they're right. Do I see that and feel good about it right now? FUCK NO.

[Update 5/29/05: I took out the "distraction" I had in this post; it was bugging me.]

Back from my distraction: I'm totally consumed wondering what he's going to do to get back at me for emailing his wife and fucking his world up. I'm sick to my stomach; have been since yesterday when I fatefully hit 'send'. I slept about 30 minutes to an hour at a time last night, and only stayed in bed about 6 hours total. I'm totally fucked - I don't know what or when, but he WILL do something and I'm just fucking beside myself about it. (And no, I'm not going to get into what I think he could attempt - he may or may not still read this; I don't need to give him fucking TIPS for fuck's sake.)

Oh, wanna know the best part? When his wife first emailed me over a year ago, I found out he had three kids, not two like he told me. Yesterday when she replied to me, I found out he now has FOUR. (Uh, NO, I didn't know about the fourth. He was on the phone with me when I got her email which contained this info, and when I said something to him about it, he pretended not to know what she was talking about. COME ON. Paris fucking Hilton is a better actress, buddy.)