How far down does this rabbit hole go?

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to find out.

But I don't want to talk about that.

I want to know what you do for a living. How did you decide that's what you wanted to do for a living? Can you retire doing what you're doing without having to work until you have one foot in the grave?

What's the point?

I need ideas. Every ounce of creative juice in my body seems to be missing in action. I need help. See, the thing is, I hate working where I work, and that is translating into hating what I actually do. (I'm an Administrative Assistant. I make just under $30k/year.) It's possible that I wouldn't hate what I do if I were doing it for a different employer, but that point is mute due to the simple fact that I will never make enough money to support myself without help and I will definitely never make enough to retire on - I'll have to work until I literally die at my desk. I can't live like this.

I know that in order to become something other than an Administrative Assistant, I have to go to school. Sure, I could try to just get a different job and hope I get lucky enough to find an employer that doesn't require me to have a degree. Anything's possible. But eventually, my luck will run out. Or maybe not? Am I wrong? I have no fucking clue!

I don't know what to do or how to get there. Right now, I'm so frustrated with the whole fucking thing, I'm actually sitting here fucking CRYING about it.

I feel like I HAVE TO go to school or be fucked for the rest of my life. Then, even if I go to school and get a degree, that it won't mean anything. I know several people who spent the time, money, and energy to go to school and they have since ended up doing what I'm doing, making what I'm making. WELL FUCK, I CAN DO THAT FOR FREE.

OH fucking never mind. I don't even know how to explain it and I don't know how to explain why it upsets me so much so fuck this post.

If you feel like sharing some of your experiences with me, I would really appreciate it.