My brother

I have calmed down since my last post.

If I am honest with myself, it is not confusion that fueled my post about my brother, but anger.

Angry that I don't know him, but want to, and don't know how to establish a relationship with him as I know he is clearly disinterested in such a thing.

Angry that I think recruiters are brain-washing him, because this is the first time in our 30-odd years together on this earth that I've ever heard him talk about what amounts to "patriotism."

Angry that he's about to (if he gets in) go off and get himself killed for something I don't believe in - and what really burns me is that he won't tell me WHY he believes in it.

Angry that ANYONE has to go off and get themselves killed.

Yes, my last post contained the contradiction of me saying at the beginning that he's a seemingly happy person and then I went on to describe him as basically the opposite. He does SEEM happy to me - I'm just making relatively uneducated guesses at his unhappiness, because that's the only reason that made sense to me as to why someone would purposely run off to kill themselves. I see now that it is possible that he really does believe he is fighting for our freedom or WHATEVER and that it is just my anger that keeps me from seeing that as anything other than completely psychotic.