Blank

Got a couple minutes to post here before the neighbors come up to smoke a bowl with me.

I'm blank lately. Like I've thought every thought there is to think about my present situation, and now I'm just sort of blank.

I read through my archives recently. It felt humiliating. Deeply humiliating.

Here's a quote from one of my favorite (embarassing) posts:

Since finding out that he is still married, we have had some of the most deep, personal conversations we've had in all the time I've known him. I made a lot of demands on him right after I found out, and made it clear that I wasn't going to allow even ONE more indiscretion; even ONE more lie. I made it clear that if he wanted to continue to be a part of my life, he was going to have to work his fucking ass off to earn my trust back, and he was going to have to go out of his way for me. I told him to really think about it, and make sure that he really wanted this, because it wasn't going to be an easy road.

You can read it in it's entirety here.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

More later. Neighbors are here.