Can someone PLEASE explain to me
Why a relatively successful, seemingly happy male would, at the age of 32, suddenly decide to join the Army??
Allow me to paint a picture here. The subject in question is my brother, Adam. (He's my non-biological brother I grew up with.) We are not close. We see each other for every major holiday/birthday, and we talk about every other month. This is not because he lives far away - he's a 15 minute drive away.
Adam is 32. He owns a house, has a dog, and makes a fairly lucrative living selling and setting up office furniture. As far as I know, he is not in any kind of serious debt. He is not heavy in to "possessions" - he has kind of a crappy car that has to be at least 8 years old, doesn't have extravagant furnishings, doesn't wear jewelry (no fancy watches), and doesn't spend a lot on vacations (he goes camping/to the Boundary Waters several times a year). He does not do drugs.
He is single. He has been single for...what, six years now? He was engaged (for the second time) but as the wedding day approached, she backed out. He hasn't had a serious relationship since. (Spends no money on a girlfriend/wife, which I'm told can add up quickly between outings and gifts.)
Adam drinks. Less than he used to but likely more than he should. Since we're not close and hardly ever see each other, it's nearly impossible for me to say whether or not he's an alcoholic with any sort of accuracy, but my gut says he is. Maybe this is because nearly every time I talk to him he's either drinking, about to go drinking, has a buzz, or is drunk. He's had 3 DWI's. (In MN, the 4th = an automatic year in jail; do not pass go, do not collect $200, do not think you are going to hire a fancy lawyer who is going to get you out on a technicality - you're fucking going to jail.) His last DWI was roughly 3-4 years ago. I know he still drives after drinking, though I don't know if he still drives when wasted beyond recognition. (To me, there's no difference - if you're drinking, you're not driving. Period!)
What did I leave out that would help to answer my original question?
I have two theories.
1. He's fucking bored/lonely. Though he has many friends, I believe his lack of a love life and/or lack of diverse social interests (um, hi - getting drunk while playing softball in the summer and broomball in the winter should not be one's only social activities.) have led him down the path of "same shit/different day" in a such a way that he thinks this is probably how the rest of his life is going to go, and that maybe doesn't seem like a good thing.
2. He is an alcoholic but can't admit it and figures joining the Army will be a good way to "straighten up". I can imagine why he wouldn't want to admit his drinking problem - my dad is a recovering alcoholic (no, it's not hereditary; at least not in this case - my brother and I were both adopted) and I can imagine my brother wouldn't want to disappoint my dad. (That's a thing for both of us, actually - I can say with some certainty that both my brother and I feel we've vastly disappointed our parents. But that's not the point here.)
All I can get Adam to say when I ask why he wants to join the Army (for ACTIVE FUCKING DUTY, NO LESS) all he says is, "so I can shoot fuckin' towelheads!" When I press further, he says, with slightly less enthusiasm, "Because I think it's better to fight a war on foreign soil than it is to fight a war here."
WTF????? I have no clue if he's serious or not. I don't know who the FUCK he's been talking to (aside from recruiters) or what the FUCK he's been reading, but I can say this - he and I most certainly DO NOT share the same views on this.
Here's the fucked up part: he's having hip replacement surgery and a leg lengthening procedure in March. He's planning on 5-6 weeks of recovery/physical therapy - he has talked to a couple docs and a few people who've had this done, I guess.
*Side note: Other than his hip socket deteriorating and needing replacement, he's an otherwise healthy guy. (Well, I guess I don't know about his liver or kidneys due to the drinking, but I doubt they're at a terrible point just yet.) He's active, athletic, muscular, and aside from a tiny beer belly you can barely see, he's at a target weight for his height.*
I can't really see how the Army would be falling all over itself to have him (I repeat, on ACTIVE DUTY) after that. So I called a recruiter this afternoon to get a better idea - the short version is that it's 50/50 - if he does well, it's possible he'll be medically cleared for duty. If he doesn't do so well, he may not. There's no way to know until after phsyical therapy is over.
Okay - did I miss anything else? Can someone please, please give me some ideas what the hell he might be thinking?
He is very tight-lipped. It's extremely unlikely that he's going to talk to me about it in a serious fashion unless A) I get him butt-wasted drunk or B) I attack him with some obviously false reasons as to why he'd join, thus forcing him to defend himself with the truth.
Help?
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Allow me to paint a picture here. The subject in question is my brother, Adam. (He's my non-biological brother I grew up with.) We are not close. We see each other for every major holiday/birthday, and we talk about every other month. This is not because he lives far away - he's a 15 minute drive away.
Adam is 32. He owns a house, has a dog, and makes a fairly lucrative living selling and setting up office furniture. As far as I know, he is not in any kind of serious debt. He is not heavy in to "possessions" - he has kind of a crappy car that has to be at least 8 years old, doesn't have extravagant furnishings, doesn't wear jewelry (no fancy watches), and doesn't spend a lot on vacations (he goes camping/to the Boundary Waters several times a year). He does not do drugs.
He is single. He has been single for...what, six years now? He was engaged (for the second time) but as the wedding day approached, she backed out. He hasn't had a serious relationship since. (Spends no money on a girlfriend/wife, which I'm told can add up quickly between outings and gifts.)
Adam drinks. Less than he used to but likely more than he should. Since we're not close and hardly ever see each other, it's nearly impossible for me to say whether or not he's an alcoholic with any sort of accuracy, but my gut says he is. Maybe this is because nearly every time I talk to him he's either drinking, about to go drinking, has a buzz, or is drunk. He's had 3 DWI's. (In MN, the 4th = an automatic year in jail; do not pass go, do not collect $200, do not think you are going to hire a fancy lawyer who is going to get you out on a technicality - you're fucking going to jail.) His last DWI was roughly 3-4 years ago. I know he still drives after drinking, though I don't know if he still drives when wasted beyond recognition. (To me, there's no difference - if you're drinking, you're not driving. Period!)
What did I leave out that would help to answer my original question?
I have two theories.
1. He's fucking bored/lonely. Though he has many friends, I believe his lack of a love life and/or lack of diverse social interests (um, hi - getting drunk while playing softball in the summer and broomball in the winter should not be one's only social activities.) have led him down the path of "same shit/different day" in a such a way that he thinks this is probably how the rest of his life is going to go, and that maybe doesn't seem like a good thing.
2. He is an alcoholic but can't admit it and figures joining the Army will be a good way to "straighten up". I can imagine why he wouldn't want to admit his drinking problem - my dad is a recovering alcoholic (no, it's not hereditary; at least not in this case - my brother and I were both adopted) and I can imagine my brother wouldn't want to disappoint my dad. (That's a thing for both of us, actually - I can say with some certainty that both my brother and I feel we've vastly disappointed our parents. But that's not the point here.)
All I can get Adam to say when I ask why he wants to join the Army (for ACTIVE FUCKING DUTY, NO LESS) all he says is, "so I can shoot fuckin' towelheads!" When I press further, he says, with slightly less enthusiasm, "Because I think it's better to fight a war on foreign soil than it is to fight a war here."
WTF????? I have no clue if he's serious or not. I don't know who the FUCK he's been talking to (aside from recruiters) or what the FUCK he's been reading, but I can say this - he and I most certainly DO NOT share the same views on this.
Here's the fucked up part: he's having hip replacement surgery and a leg lengthening procedure in March. He's planning on 5-6 weeks of recovery/physical therapy - he has talked to a couple docs and a few people who've had this done, I guess.
*Side note: Other than his hip socket deteriorating and needing replacement, he's an otherwise healthy guy. (Well, I guess I don't know about his liver or kidneys due to the drinking, but I doubt they're at a terrible point just yet.) He's active, athletic, muscular, and aside from a tiny beer belly you can barely see, he's at a target weight for his height.*
I can't really see how the Army would be falling all over itself to have him (I repeat, on ACTIVE DUTY) after that. So I called a recruiter this afternoon to get a better idea - the short version is that it's 50/50 - if he does well, it's possible he'll be medically cleared for duty. If he doesn't do so well, he may not. There's no way to know until after phsyical therapy is over.
Okay - did I miss anything else? Can someone please, please give me some ideas what the hell he might be thinking?
He is very tight-lipped. It's extremely unlikely that he's going to talk to me about it in a serious fashion unless A) I get him butt-wasted drunk or B) I attack him with some obviously false reasons as to why he'd join, thus forcing him to defend himself with the truth.
Help?
posted by AmyVegas at
11/28/2005 05:35:00 PM
