Wow

So, it's been almost a year since I posted? Really? Doesn't seem like it, but that's probably because I spent most of this year in an alcohol induced haze.

One of my cats - the older one, who had been with me the longest and through the most - died about 5 days after I posted last. I wanted to bury him in the backyard, but it was the middle of winter...in January...in Minnesota. For those of you not 'in the know' - the ground freezes here in the winter. Can't bury a turd, let alone an entire cat.

I wrote a bunch of drunken shit over the year, and since I absolutely can't trust it being on paper because if someone finds it they'll probably have me fucking committed, I've decided to put it down in this blog. Where it's...uh...safe. So, starting tomorrow, I'm subjecting anyone who happens to stumble upon this fucked up mess of a non-blog to my crazy, drunken ramblings. Then I'll fill y'all in on what's happening now.

In other words, I need an outlet and have decided this blog is a good place for that.

In the meantime...I can tell you my latest discovery. I'm terrified of men. It's more than what one may consider a natural fear. I'm literally mortified at the thought of ever even *considering* a date, let alone a relationship. And worse than the fear that I have of men and dating and relationships, is my fear that I'll wind up an old fat lady who has a dozen cats and lives in a dilapidated old house that stinks of garbage. I am terrified of dating; terrified of living alone for life. Sweet.

Whatever. Time for bed.

I'm alive. That's is all.